Come Come Paradise

And so once again, I tendered my resignation. Only this time, it wasn't done aimlessly. Not that it was planned in the first place, but I guess some things just fall into place. Frankly, I love what I do here at my current workplace, but I guess when it's time to move on, you just have to. I don't quite know where to begin, but here goes.

I graduated with an IT degree and convinced myself to pursue my area of interest despite my lack of "certification" that I have a creative flair. I very foolishly chose to work in Singapore after miscalculating that it would be worth it. And so I came here 3 years ago and went through all kinds of shit, mostly involving crazy rent rates, traveling, cheap but crappy food, awesome but expensive food, the lack of a social life, work and declining health. The internet speed is probably the only thing that I have come to truly appreciate here. I have always, always looked back and thought of returning home.

And now after more than 3 years, I am, at long last, returning to Malaysia. The funny part is that what lead me back home was, to a great extent, my 3 years' worth of work experience in Singapore. I have somehow managed to "buy back" all the time I lost in university studying stuff I wasn't exactly interested in by spending time working in a field that I have a passion for. Obviously, it wasn't a very easy journey. Having gone through all that, I think I deserve some sort of reward, and I'm hoping that this is it. My resilient nature (and sense of humour) have somehow lead me to a place where I hope I can finally call home.

At this very moment, a few thoughts are lingering in my head. How am I going to move an entire room full of stuff out of Singapore in less than 6 weeks? What if this is yet another disappointment? Am I going to ever regret this decision? Will things finally start to work out for me? Am I good enough for this? There isn't much I can do other than to do what is necessary and to stop looking back.

I will be working in a company that is pretty much as old as Immortal (in case my future employer is reading this, did I mention that he's a pretty awesome guy? Like... totally cool. And handsome, just like me. And smart, for having hired a smart guy like me; wow we have so much in common! And really nice. And generous. And humble. And all that. I'd love him if I were a girl. But I'm not. But I still love him. Just not like how a girl would usually love a guy. Okay, I should probably stop.), doing a LOT more than what I have been hired to do in Singapore. A lot of which requires handling and overseeing people, but looking back at how I have led one of the most successful Taekwondo Club in TTSC's history as President and functioned as a pretty damn good Vice President of EMiNA, I think much of what I am required to do should be second nature, given the time to adjust.

In other words, I can't wait.

What happens when you send a piece of artwork to the printer is that multiple pages are planned for print onto each sheet of stock paper; with several objectives in mind:

1. To minimise the number of plates required to be made for print. x number of colours = x number of plates. Plates are used to transfer colours onto your print.

2. To minimise the number of times the paper has to be printed at a time, depending on how many colours are used in the artwork, and which colours appear on which side(s) of the paper. Most machines owned by local printers can only produce 2-4 colours at one go.

3. To minimise time required to prepare the machine for print. The reason why offset printers will tell you to fuck off when you tell them you want to print 500 pieces of something is because they require several hours just to make sure that the colours (usually just Cyan, Magenta, Yellow and Black) are well-registered; meaning to say they're printed in maximum precision to produce a sharp image. To print 500 pieces of a poster design will likely take less than 3 minutes in total AFTER the several hours long set-up. They can just take on a much bigger job, and let the machine run for a much longer time without needing to set up the machine too many times. They've literally got better things to do with their time. The best alternative is to go digital printing, which can cost you RM10 per piece.

4. To minimise wastage of paper. When a paper stock is sent to the printer, the paper is NOT sent in your regular A4/A3 sizes. In fact, they come in huge sizes like 1090mm x 787mm or 939mm x 635mm. A regular stock will allow 8 pieces of A4 posters to be printed, or 16 pages of a booklet to be printed (front and back).

All of the above are essential when you decide on a size of an artwork. If you decide on a 5th colour (like say... gold or silver), what you're doing is you're telling the printer to produce a 5th plate, possibly doubling the time for print (because most machines can only process 2-4 colours at a time, so the 5th colour can only be produced by letting it pass through the machine another time). If you decide to print less than 3,000 pieces through offset printers, I'd tell you to fuck off too. And if you decide to print anything even just slightly bigger than the regular size, chances are, you're wasting 50% of the paper that was purchased for your project, hence doubling your paper cost.

So if you want to print something, maximise your money's worth, and save trees (or rather kill less trees), come to me >....

Friends and Family
I've never really had any problems making friends, and I don't have any problems with anyone in my family. I have made very few enemies (Actually I can only think of one lunatic who would consider me an enemy, and having bumped into him 2 days ago left me cursing that he hasn't died already). All the way up till I started working in Singapore, I took all that for granted.

I've recently spent 10 days in my hometown, with my family, relatives and friends for Chinese New Year celebrations. I've come to regret not cherishing my previous Chinese New Year celebrations as much as I wish I did. People were all around me, but not everyone. Some are far away, busy with their new lives and jobs. Some are close, just a little busier. And some are gone forever. I didn't lose anyone particularly close to me; at least not yet. But for those who did, I felt their emptiness. My grandfather is no longer around. My cousin succumbed to cancer. My friend's grandmother passed away recently. My girlfriend's old friend died in his sleep. An acquaintance of mine passed away, and I regret not getting to know him better.

I know that this post isn't about life and death, but I think it's too important to leave out in a post about family and friends. There are many reasons for me to fear death for myself, such as the fact that out of the 5 people whose death I learned, 3 of them were people whom I considered my peers, age-wise, and that I do not believe in the afterlife (seriously, sometimes I wish I wasn't such a skeptic).

Most of the important people in my life are in my hometown. And if anything happens to them, it is highly likely that I will not be able to make it back on time to say goodbye to them simply because I work in Singapore. Which is ironic because I originally told myself to get my ass on that island so that I could earn a better living and make everything better for the people I care. I consider myself quite lucky to have become aware this before anyone significantly close to me passes away, but anything can happen to a person without warning. How much longer can I tell myself, "It's okay, there's still time"? Like I mentioned earlier, most of the people whose death I learned of were of my age group. What if tragedy strikes someone I really care about? What if tragedy strikes me?

I'm spending my 10th day in my hometown for the Chinese New Year holidays. I've worked in Singapore for over 3 years now. Yet I've had more fun in these 10 days than the 3 years I've spent working in Singapore. Just moments ago I updated my Twitter, Facebook, and IM status messages: "I work in Singapore, and I live in Malaysia".

I've been told all kinds of things by the people around me.

"Good that you're in Singapore, don't come back". "Come back-lah, you always bitch about having no life in Singapore". "With this kind of government, I don't think we (the minority) can ever feel at home (in Malaysia)". "Wah earning Sing Dollars still want to complain". "You should just be wherever you feel happier". "Earn your money and start on your own".

They all make sense to me. They're all right. In a way, it really is good to be in Singapore. And I do bitch about having no life in Singapore. The current Malaysian government is fucked up, and so is the opposition. I do earn Sing Dollars, and I do complain, because it's so fucking difficult to cope with rising costs of living and a salary that never seems sufficient. I probably should be somewhere I feel happy. And yes, I would like to earn my money and eventually start something on my own; it's the only real future that I can see myself in.

But the decision isn't such an easy one. It seems impossible to weigh between remaining in Singapore to earn my buck and secure a place to run away to when Malaysia is fubar, and to remain in Malaysia and attempt to live life to the fullest and start on my own with what little I have to spare. In terms of money, having a job in Singapore feels more secure than trying on my own and risking failure (yes, yes I know I have to risk failure in order to succeed). But in terms of actually being around friends and family, I'd say living here, in tiny old Melaka is undeniably better. I've also considered going overseas, but let's not go there for now; I've said too much that is irrelevant already.

I've been fighting with myself in my head for a very long time, to decide what's best and what's next. What I should do, and what I risk by doing so. To me, it is a problem that I cannot solve, and a problem that will continue to linger until I make the ultimate decision, whatever that may be.

So what can I do? I really don't know. But the best thing I could think of is to continue doing what I'm doing until something magical (or grievous) hits me. So friends and family, thank you for everything that you've done, and thank you for being here with me. You've all been extremely supportive and patient with me, but I'm afraid that I must ask for a little more time...

There's no overtime pay. You can't claim for a cab until it's way past dinner time; sometimes bedtime. There's no dinner. There's a ridiculous expectation for you to meet all deadlines, even if multiple projects are due the next morning on short notice. There's no gratitude. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, there's yelling.

So my girlfriend's family came to Singapore for her ACCA convocation, and both her brothers were into games. Naturally, we went around hunting for game shops. Her elder brother bought Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and The Orange Box for XBox 360 and her younger brother was looking for Kingdom Hearts for the Nintendo DS; it took us quite some time before we chanced upon it. My girlfriend wanted to get Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story for the DS. I, on the other hand, was looking for a few games that were becoming rare; namely Okami and No More Heroes for the Wii. My girlfriend helped to purchase the last copy of Okami at a local game store, but we had absolutely no luck finding No More Heroes. I went online to check and apparently, according to a forum discussion at Gamespot, the game was banned in Singapore >_>.... I got desperate and bought it off Play-Asia. All I have to do now is wait for it to arrive...